Resilience Isn’t Endless — So How Do Leaders Show Up When They’re Running Low?

This year has been… a lot.

Not dramatically catastrophic. Not story-worthy in the way people love to glamorise adversity.

Just a year, the kind where your resilience feels slightly frayed, your pace feels heavier, and the version of yourself that normally breezes through chaos suddenly needs a nap and a snack to cope. 

And I’ve noticed something in myself:

When my resilience is lower, my capacity to show up in the way I usually do - energetic, grounded, quick-thinking, shrinks too. It’s uncomfortable, especially for someone who prides themselves on being dependable and “fine, honestly, totally fine.”

But here’s what this year has taught me:

1.      Even the most resilient people have limits.

Resilience isn’t a personality trait, it’s a resource. And resources get depleted.

No amount of leadership theory or mindset magic replaces the reality that sometimes life is simply heavier than usual.

2.      Leaders don’t get to opt out of being human.

Your team doesn’t need you to be superhuman. They need you to be present, honest, and self-aware.

And here’s the twist: When you’re having “a year,” you often become more attuned to other people’s silent struggles. It can sharpen your empathy because you’re closer to the edges of your own. 

3.      How you notice people matters — especially when you’re tired.

In the busiest seasons, it’s easy to only see output and deadlines. But noticing people is a leadership skill:

• “You look a bit stretched — are you okay?”
• “I can see you’re putting a lot into this.”
• “What’s feeling heavy for you at the moment?”

These questions cost nothing. But they can reshape someone’s entire day.

4.      How you show up when you’re not at your best is what people remember.

Not in a performative way. Not in a “power through it” way. But in a way that says: “I’m human. I’m still here. And I still care.”

Sometimes showing up means being fully present.
Sometimes it means setting a boundary.
Sometimes it means saying “I’m not at 100%, but I’m with you.” 

That honesty builds more trust than polished perfection ever will.

5.      Leadership isn’t about never wobbling — it’s about how you recalibrate.

This year hasn’t made me weaker. It’s made me more conscious. More discerning. More intentional.

It’s slowed me down enough to ask:

• What pace is actually sustainable?
• What do I need to put down?
• Who do I need around me?
• And what kind of leader am I when I’m not firing on all cylinders?

Because leadership isn’t measured by how well we handle the easy seasons.

It’s measured by who we become in the difficult ones.

A Personal Reflection: When Strengths Get Overplayed

This year has also revealed one of my overplayed strengths — my desire to people-please.

Reflection is important, resilience is important… but so is recognising when something that usually serves you starts working against you. My instinct to be available, helpful, present, and supportive — for everyone, all the time — has left me utterly exhausted.

I’ve caught myself endlessly apologising for not showing up in the way I normally would.

Apologising for needing rest.
Apologising for being quieter.
Apologising for being human.

The truth is, I didn’t need to apologise. I needed space.

And in many cases, I didn’t take it.

So as we move into the new year, I’m making myself a promise:

I will make more time for me.

It might mean saying no more often.
It might mean stepping back from certain things.
It might mean you won’t see me quite as frequently for a little while.

…And that has to be okay.

Because leadership isn’t about being endlessly available, it’s about knowing when to recharge so you can show up with intention, not obligation. 

So, if you’ve had “a year”, just know, you’re not alone.

And if your resilience is lower than usual, that’s not failure.

That’s your signal to adjust, pay attention, reach out, and lead from a place that is still human, still present, and still enough.